April 1, 2014 – A recent jackpot winner at Slotland says he will live forever thanks to his $5,000,000 win. Samuel J., who won the record-breaking jackpot playing Slotland’s Too Good to be True slot game, says he’ll use his incredible win to pay for his body to be frozen for a hundred or so years.
“I don’t care who thinks I’m crazy,” said the winner. “Maybe I am! But I won this jackpot fair and square and this is what I want to do with it. I’m going to see the future! If it’s good enough for Walt Disney, why not me?!”
Present state-of-the-art cryonics technology can successfully preserve the human body with remarkable integrity. Jackson says his body will be cryogenically preserved at the Everafter Cryogenics Lab in Palo Alto, California where has left instructions to be woken up when his first great-great-great-great-grandchild is born.
“I’ll leave my wife enough to get by on when I go,” said Jackson, “But this cryogenics stuff is expensive so anyone else that’s expecting to inherit some of my jackpot can just forget it.”
Editor’s note: Being April Fools, this story seems a bit far fetched. Besides, everyone knows Slotland’s jackpot is hit too often to ever get to 5 million.
It was just won last month by Johnathon E. who hit a $159,357 jackpot playing the Ice Queen slot game on his cell phone. It’s back up to about ninety grand now.
